PHYLLIS SMITH: It becomes a state of being and not a job title. One final thought, and I could go on for the whole day, maybe a week with you going through all this. I’m so blessed and grateful that you’re a part of “us” eWomenNetwork that you’re out there impacting and changing others’ lives and helping them really own their power and leadership.
The other thing I think is also really something I want our listeners to take away, you say, effective leaders create leaders daily and only hire people who are leaders. Someone else might say well you can’t have a bunch of A’s, but you have to some A’s and B’s. A B level and a A level and if you have to many leaders then to many cooks spoil the pot.
DR. DOROTHY: If you have too many people in defense you will never get anything accomplished. If you have 2 leaders who are leading, they are responding and initiating and not reacting.
I want my VA to have the strength to not be nice. If I send something to her and she doesn’t want to hurt my feelings, so she sends it through. I’d rather have a VA who’s powerful enough and says to me, “Dorothy, before you send this out I think it could be rephrased better.” Terrific! Tell me what you think. Let me know what you think is better? She may have a far better idea than I came up with. Fantastic! I want her to have the leadership skills that say this is what I do as a VA, and I do it well.
Effective leaders create leaders daily and only hire people who are leaders.
PHYLLIS SMITH: What you’re saying to me is a true leader knows her self-worth. She really knows it. She doesn’t just speak it, like I’m worthy and gives herself affirmations. Because if you know what your gifts are then you also can allow others to provide their gift to you. Like your VA. Like your receptionist. They can see your blind spot and you’re open to it.
DR. DOROTHY: You want it. You want them to be powerful because this is my vision. This is my vision for my life because it’s my company. No matter how good she is at whatever her role, it’s my vision. What do I need to be frightened of? I want my friends to say, “Hey, do you think you’re going off base on this one? You’re getting caught by the shiny object over here.” Ah, that was so easy, how did I do that? Thanks! Back on purpose. Back to go. Friends who can sit and have a glass of wine and giggle or cry with, but friends who simultaneously know this is who I am and that’s who they are because if they’re going to be my friend. They need to have that strength to be partners with me in life.
The 98% my heart goes out to them. I love working with women who have already made it. My clients are women who have been successful. Who to know how they’re getting in their own way. Plus, if they’re going to afford me they must be successful. So, that they know where they want to go, what they want that to look like, and most importantly who do they want to become? Because who you want to become is more important than what you want to do because what we do changes.
PHYLLIS SMITH: Don’t you think what we want to become, I mean, we could start out in a business and then 10 or 20 years later, the becoming could be something a little different. It could be, well I’ve done this, like you had various careers in your life. Right? Then I believe that becoming is evolving all the time. When we’re 80 we’re becoming something else at that stage in our life.
DR. DOROTHY: God willing. If we don’t and what we do remains the same, we have become stagnant. I was a social worker empowering people. I then became a therapist empowering people. I then became a healer while I also had my therapy practice and I also had my school. I had 63 positions on staff, but I had my school. But in both situations, I was empowering people to own their lives and become more of who they are.
Now I work with women helping them become more of who they are as effective leaders. Don’t settle for 1 million, go for 2 million, or go for 3 million. Don’t become work obsessed, but become growth obsessed. Enjoy yourself always taking time to stop growing and take a week to play. We can’t be in process all the time. We need time off to play and oftentimes what happens when you take that week to play you start integrating all this stuff from the past. It catches up with you and the women who walks out of holiday is more of who she is than the women who walked into holiday. Because your growth caught up with you and that supported your transformation. We need to stop growing and processing, so we can just be and catch up.
My experience consistently is that the women I work with is that they’re due shifts and changes because as they grow what they were doing doesn’t feed them anymore. If they stay with the same company, they expand it. If they don’t stay with the same company it’s not something dramatically different because every skill I’ve developed and all the jobs I’ve held has created a me that I’m bringing to my next job. All of those helped this transformation. It isn’t that I’m dramatically different or doing something different, I’m more and it’s based on my life experiences from my past.
PHYLLIS SMITH: Yes. Absolutely and you are right on. I feel it in myself when you talk about those things. I feel I’ve had so many great jobs, interesting things that I’ve done, and I’m one of those people that just go after it. But there still is something, a little voice occasionally in my head that said not so fast.
First before we end; how can people reach you what’s the best way to reach out to you?
DR. DOROTHY: They can give me a call 860-543-5629. They can drop me an email at Dorothy@AskDrDorothy.com. That’s A-S-K-D-R Dorothy.com. So, an email or a phone call. I’m here and I love what I do. The more women I can work with the better. I love to support that many and see them take off and fly. Become who you truly are not who somebody told you you’re meant to be.
PHYLLIS SMITH: On that note I do want to say that you say we are not our history, but I must believe that because of your history and having had no control and so unempowered and that you now spend your life empowering others. So, in a good way you’ve turned around that horrible nightmare into something that is a beautiful thing and a gift to us all. So, thank you so much Dr. Dorothy!
DR. DOROTHY: Thank you so much! Consider telling a great story that provides personality. Writing a story with personality for potential clients will asist with making a relationship connection. This shows up in small quirks like word choices or phrases. Write from your point of view, not from someone else's experience.